Recent research from the University of California shows that our brains handle rejection in the same way they handle actual physical pain.
Another US study (from Baruch College, New York) discovered that when participants were given false feedback (told that someone hadn’t liked them) after being introduced, they approached the next person expecting (and receiving) more rejection.
Do you ever submit your novel / short stories / features already anticipating that rejection? Take a moment before hitting send (or, if you’re sending a hard copy, sealing the envelope) and think about the response you want.
Can you imagine getting an email / phone call / letter accepting your work? How will you feel when you read or hear the words?
Even if your writing is rejected (it’s something everyone on the planet faces – not just writers), by focusing on the response and outcome you want, it won’t hurt as much. You'll also find it easier to refocus on your goal and take the next step towards it instead of getting sidetracked by the disappointment.
If you feel emotionally wounded, consider trying a technique like EFT (find out more at www.applecoaching.com/phdi/p1.nsf/supppages/1138?opendocument&part=6) to clear that energy.
You can also let out your frustration and hurt / angry feelings by writing it all down and then burning it / ripping it to shred. (You might even want to write it out on toilet tissue and flush all the rejection away.)
Get it out of your system and move on.
If you’ve had further insights (or feedback from the person who rejected it) and can improve it, do so. Then you can send it straight back out to the next person on your shortlist.
You might want to compile a short list before sending out the first submission so that this is done when you’re feeling good and positive and can make clearer decisions about the best markets / agents / publishers etc.
Ultimately, wallowing won’t help you (or your potential readers) at all. So give yourself a moment to mourn and then figure out what steps you can take to make success more likely next time.
Once you learn how to pick yourself up faster, you’ll be better able to make much swifter inroads to success.
For more information about Business Coaching and NLP for Writers and FREE tips, please visit www.CoachingWriters.co.uk